A Big Bowl of Sin

Tom Jones stood me up last night. Well, me and 2,828 other middle aged women who were supposed to see him in concert at the Beacon Theatre. I'll be honest, seeing Tom Jones wasn't exactly on my bucket list. Hell, it wasn't even on my radar screen. But last week, my dear friend M., asked me to join her for the show and I happily agreed. I'll see almost anyone in concert and seeing TJ live is on M.'s bucket list, so why not? At a minimum, I was certain it would make for a fun, campy post for today.

Sadly, it wasn't meant to be. M. and I met for a yummy dinner at Gus & Gabriel, then walked down to the Beacon only to find a throng of bitterly disappointed women and the word "Postponed" flashing on the marquis. Seems that Mr. Jones has fallen victim to that age old menace - "vocal chord strain" - after a bout of bronchitis. I wish him a speedy recovery!

The concert will be rescheduled, so stay tuned. Meanwhile, that leaves me rather post-less for the day. Post-less unless I decide to fess up to that big bowl of sin pictured above. Yes, its Fettuccine Alfredo; and, yes, that pasta is white. The horror, the horror! Its also incredibly delicious and not nearly as bad as it seems.

Here in Divaland, we call this dish Fake Fettuccine and its a once-in-a-while treat. What with the South Beaching and all, I haven't made this dish in over a year. Oh how I've missed it! Now, before you call in the fat police, lets get a few things straight. This is a slimmed down, lower fat, lower cholesterol version and its as delicious as can be. I don't actually have a recipe and I don't measure anything ... I'll do my best to offer amounts here, but mainly we're talking about a make-as-you-go kind of dish.

Divalicious Fake Fettuccine:

• 1 large shallot, peeled and minced
• 2 tbsp. butter
• a small carton of fat-free Half and Half
• 5 oz. Dannon All Natural Fat-Free Plain Yogurt
• 1/2 cup of freshly grated Parmesan cheese, or more to taste
• pinch of salt
• gererous grind of fresh black pepper
• some freshly grated nutmeg
  
• 1 tbsp. minced fresh chives
• 1/2 pound of cooked fettuccine pasta
• 1/2 cup of pasta cooking water
  
• additional grated Parmesan cheese and some chopped fresh parsley for garnish

Cook the fettuccine in a large pot according to package directions. You want the pasta to be al dente, so don't over cook it. Drain the pasta and reserve 1/2 cup of the cooking liquid. While the pasta is draining, melt the butter over medium-high heat in the same pot in which you've cooked the pasta. Add the shallots and saute for 2 minutes. Add about 2/3 of a cup of fat-free Half and Half to the pot and raise the heat to high. Allow the mixture to come to the boil and reduce for 1 to 2 minutes. Return the cooked pasta to the pot and add @ 5 oz. of fat-free plain yogurt, stirring well to combine. Add 1/2 cup of Parmesan cheese, a pinch of salt, some fresly ground black pepper and a bit of freshly grated nutmeg, stirring well to combine. Add the fresh chives and continue stirring until the cheese has melted and the sauce thickens slightly. Taste and adjust for seasoning, adding more Half and Half, Parmesan, a/o salt and pepper as desired.

Serve immediately, garnished with some additional Parmesan, grated nutmeg and chopped fresh parsley. Enjoy!

As written, this recipe will serve 2 to 3 depending on portion size. (In our house it serves 3, but appetites do vary!) Obviously you can increase the quantities as necessary to serve more. The reserved cooking liquid can be used to thin the sauce, as needed, particularly for second helpings.

This is a fast, fresh and altogether delicious dish and its completely worth the sin. Feel free to play around with any of the amounts listed - as I said, its a make-as-you-go kind of deal. If you're not a Diva on a Diet, by all means feel free to use some light cream in place of the Half and Half ... your secret will be safe with me.

I invented my Fake Fettuccine more than 10 years ago, in an effort to satisfy my Alfredo loving husband *and* my inner fat cop ... both of whom are well-pleased with the results.

Bon appetite!