Recipe for Disaster ...

• Skip dinner, because you spent one million hours on your hair and make-up.

• Proceed to husband's ultra-festive holiday party and have some scotch.

• Have a small plate of luscious bread and cheese and pretend its dinner.
  

• Partake of the myriad dessert offerings with reckless abandon. (Not really - I just like the way it sounds!)
  

• Wash down the tempting treats with a curious mix of grape juice and seltzer. Why? No one knows.

• Shake hands, meet new people, catch up with known people, engage in shameless self-promotion by handing out Diva cards, receive numerous compliments on your weight loss and generally feel festive.
  

• Have more scotch.

• Forget you even own a watch, forget that you're a light-weight, forget to drink water and stay out until 2am.

• Blame Tom Colicchio for everything.
  

As written, this recipe will yield ... death.

Or, at least the eager anticipation of it - and one massive, sugar-induced headache. Don't try this at home. This is one recipe I simply cannot recommend ... except once a year ... then enjoy the hell out of it. ;)

Bon appetite!

Brillo Head

The summer's heat and humidity are upon us, and that can only mean one thing: Brillo Head. I've got it. I've got it bad. When I'm not policing the city for violations of my mascara edict, I'm busy scrutinizing every woman I pass and wondering why her hair looks so nice and neat while mine resembles Don King. I don't think I have to tell you how upsetting this is. I may never leave the house.

I've got shelves and shelves of "frizz-free" this and "anti-humidity" that in my closet and none of it works. The best I can do is wash it, throw it in a pony tail, and hope that I'll get points for cleanliness. I kiss my glossy, shiny-straight tresses good-bye in May and long for their return in October. I've just written the summer off, hair-wise.

You can imagine my joy when I recently read about Frederic Fekkai's new line: Summer Hair. Why, I was nearly breathless in anticipation of trying it and I think my hands actually trembled a bit as I forked over the cash for the purchase. Well, here's my review: horrid!

The text on the bottle promises: "Zero-Humidity Frizz Control. All day frizz and fly-away protection." Um, no. After using it my hair felt crisp, nearly brittle, and it expanded to heretofore unprecedented width. We're talking Dora the Explorer here. (Warning, that link has sound.) I mean it was big. BIG.

Needless to say I'm returning it. Its too expensive and for me, at least, ineffective. Thus, I appeal to you my style-savy readers and ask: what's your secret for taming the summer beast? Do you have a recommendation for an anti-frizz product that actually works? If so, please do share. This Diva is desperate and needs your help.