Supermarket Sadists and an Emerging Theme ...

I believe I've made myself clear on the subject of grocery shopping in Manhattan. Its a nightmare on a good day and on a bad one it more closely resembles the third ring of hell. No Divine Comedy here, its tragic ... and getting worse by the minute.

Eyelashes adorned and lipstick applied - off, set I, for Fairway yesterday afternoon. Apart from the fresh veggies, my cupboards were pretty bare and in serious need of restocking. List in hand, I felt ready for the challenge ahead. I mean, I'm an expert at this combat shopping deal, right? Wrong.

Unbeknownst to me, the supermarket sadists had unleashed their particular brand of malevolence on my already irritating little market ... they changed the location of everything. Everything. What the?! Why is the toilet paper section full of bottled water? Who moved the juice? Where on earth are my beloved Morningstar Farms breakfast patties?

Bitterness ensues as I stand dumbfounded before an aisle of Kosher products that replaces what used to be ... something ... I can't even remember what, because at this point I'm close to hyperventilating. Is this some kind of joke? Because its *not* funny. Not even a little bit. I wonder if this is how the supermarket managers amuse themselves? Are they watching on hidden cameras and laughing at my distress? Evil minions!

I finally found the toilet paper - relegated to a tiny little scrap of space by the elevator ... because nobody needs tp, right? Good thing, because you'd be hard pressed to fit two people in the space now allotted for paper goods. And, by hard pressed I mean that some freak will likely be rubbing up against you as you search in vain for the elusive Bounty Select-a-Size paper towels. Oh joy.

Call me crazy, you wouldn't be the first, but stuff like this throws me for a loop. I don't like change and I lothe retracing my steps in the supermarket. I write my list in order of the aisles and shop accordingly. Its the only way to survive the Fairway maze ... start at one end and progress to the finish, no left turns, no going back. Period. Yeah, I know, its not *really* tragic ... but I'm going to have to relearn the maze and that means a midnight rendezvous with my shopping cart and a compass. I kid you not. There's a late night trip to Fairway in my future and I'll be taking my GPS.

Phew, now that I've gotten that out of my system - let's talk chicken. Barbecued chicken has always been a summer staple, chez Diva, and I've been craving it for months now. But let's face it, BBQ sauce is typically full of sugar. Yummy delicious brown sugar to be exact. Sigh. Normally, I use Zabar's spicy bbq sauce and I've been pretty happy with it - but its definitely not SB approved, so its off the table so to speak. I opted to try the barbecue sauce recipe from The South Beach Quick and Easy Cookbook and I attempted to improve it with a few changes here and there.

The results? I'm sorry to say that for the first time here on Beach Eats, I won't be ending this post with: "I hope you'll try it!" Quite the opposite in fact. I've saved you the trouble on this one because I'm giving it a bad review. Its not a disaster, mind you, but its misses the mark by a mile. I didn't even bother serving it to the husband when he came home. I made him some tasty chicken instead. Sad.

I will post my adapted version of the recipe ... along with a challenge ...

SB Friendly BBQ sauce:

• one 15 oz. can of tomato sauce
• 1 tbsp. tomato paste
• 2 tbsp. vinegar (I used red wine)
  
• 1 tbsp. grated onion
  
• 2 tsp. chopped fresh parsley
• 1 tsp. prepared mustard (I used Spicy Brown)
• 1 tsp. dry mustard (such as Coleman's)
• 1 tbsp. Worcestershire sauce
• 1/4 tsp. salt
• 1/4 tsp. freshly ground black pepper
• 1/8 tsp. garlic powder
• 1/2 tsp. agave nectar for sweetness
• dash of Chipotle Chili powder for smokiness

Combine all ingredients in a small sauce pan, whisk to incorporate the spices and bring to a simmer over medium heat. Reduce the heat to low and simmer for 5 minutes or until flavors have combined.

The italicized ingredients are my additions and, flavor-wise, I think they're fine - except for maybe the tomato paste. The problem is that the sauce feels incomplete and tastes too strongly of tomato sauce. I baked the chicken, as per the recipe instructions, and even the caramelization from the oven didn't improve it. Sad.

The Emerging Theme: I'm searching ... for products in my now unfamiliar market ... for a new look for the blog ... and now, rather desperately, for an acceptable sugar-free BBQ sauce. Help!

The Challenge: Can you do better? Have you made a satisfactory SB friendly BBQ sauce? If so, please do share. I can only handle so many quests at a time!